Written Text Qualifications

Hello,

My name is [Anonymous] and I'm a compulsive overeater.  I weigh and measure 3 meals a day off Greysheet, write them down, and call them in to my sponsor.  I don't eat anything in between these meals, NMW. God and my abstinence are most important to my life, because without them, food is my master.

I believe I inherited my extreme sensitivity to sugar from my father.  I have a photo of him as a 10 year old in 1920 and he was obese.  All I remember about my mother dying at the age of 5 is the food that was given to me to shut me up from asking questions.  It really doesn't matter why or how I'm a compulsive overeater, the most important issue is that I have found a solution.  I wasn't obese as a child, that came when I became a teenager.  All I thought about was food.  Morning, noon, and night.

I tried everything known to man to lose weight.  I would lose a little weight, then gain it back plus a little more.  I struggled constantly.  I thought if only I could get married and have children (like all my friends) then I'd be happy and be able to stick with a diet.  I got married and had a beautiful son.  I still struggled with overeating.  I had a horrible relationship with my husband.  We finally divorced.  If I could only find a good husband that would love me, I would be happy and be able to stick with a diet.  On my search for love I became pregnant and had another son, this time out of wedlock.  My baby almost died.  God blessed him and he became well.  I cried out to God, "what have I done to deserve all this misery?"  Why can't I have a loving husband to share my life with?  I know I would live happily ever after and lose weight.  God heard my cry and blessed me 5 months later with a loving, Christian husband.  Really.  He did.  

I felt like I was living in a dream.  He accepted me just as I was, all 240#s of me.  My two sons.  My debt.  Guess what?  I still couldn't stay on a diet!!!  I couldn't believe it.  What was wrong with me?  On my search for a solution, I found Greysheet through OA in 1996.  I went to a meeting, got a sponsor, and started losing weight like crazy.  I loved my sponsor, loved the meetings, loved the 12 steps, and felt so happy.  After I reached maintenance, I thought, I'm cured!!  I know what to do now.  I don't think I need to attend these meetings anymore.  So, I slowly stopped going to meetings.  Then while I was out of town with a group of friends for a weekend, I stopped calling my wonderful sponsor.  I could eat what my friends ate, I would go back to Greysheet later.

Later took a long time to get here, July 17, 2004.  My oldest son asked me last spring, Mom, why don't you go back to Greysheet?  That's the only thing I've ever seen work for you.  (He's 23 years old, very wise for his age) I thought, hum, he's right.  But am I really ready to make a commitment that drastic?  So I started praying.  I started thinking about my first round with Greysheet.  I realized I had used it as a diet.  No recovery, just weight loss.  I realized and finally accepted fully that I was an addict to sugar and starches and grains.  I realized and finally accepted in my heart I could not recover on my own power.  I cried out to God and asked Him to give me the willingness to attend a Greysheet meeting and surrender to Him.  I attended that meeting July 17, 2004 and by His grace I've been abstinent ever since.  I've called and made amends to my original sponsor.  She was so happy to hear from me, so happy to hear I was back where I belonged.  I've released 65.5#'s and feel so much better physically.  But much more important than physical recovery, I'm free from food being my master.  My relationship with God, my husband and children is so awesome now.  I'm free!!!  Thanks for letting me share.