GreySheeters Anonymous

No Matter What

Writer #1:

BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE NMW: I went to Prague for a conference and we ate in restaurants all week. Luckily, my roommate was Czech, and with her help and the little mini-dictionary I had with me, I checked ingredients and got by, weighing and measuring in front of diplomats, NGO heads, and senators. But one time, we were out for an early dinner before a ballet at a famous theater. When the cooked veggies came, I measured and saw that there weren't enough, so I plopped some of my extras onto the plate. I ate a little, then got the bright idea to ask the waiter (more like sign to him) to heat it up. When he brought it back, gone were the extra veggies I had added; there appeared to be more meat on the plate than I remembered, and my messy pile had been rearranged to look ornamental. I was sure that he had just thrown out whatever was left and brought me a new order. I spent several tearful minutes talking to him, his manager, and the chef, stepping semi-discretely away from the main table. I begged him to admit that he threw out my food and demanded he return it to me (I saw him put it in foil to heat up, so I was sure it was still all together in some trash can). Ten minutes of shouting and crying later, I was getting nowhere. They kept insisting, in broken English, that they never threw out my food. I couldn't call anyone from my cell phone because it was out of battery; my calling card and list of European GSers were back at the hotel (we had just arrived a few hours before and I was jet-lagged and foggy), I was making a scene and my group members were tapping their watches because it was time to go. There was no time to go anywhere else to look for extra food. I had no idea how much I had left on the thrown-out plate, so I couldn't weigh out whatever I had left. I swallowed my doubts, ate what was on my plate, and told my sponsor later. Since I did it with a good heart, she didn't send me back to Day One, but I learned from that never to let my food leave my sight if I can't explain myself perfectly to the person I entrust with it, no matter how unpleasant it may be to eat cold meat and veggies. 

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Writer #2:

MY ONE NMW WHERE I "FAILED" AND IT TAUGHT ME SO MUCH: BE PREPARED! Always bring full back up. Pray to do it with "grace and ease". Let go of what other people think. To thine own self be true, and I KNOW this is really really good for me. I went to Mexico with our youth group. I'd always wanted to be a "missionary nurse" (ego). I hadn't brought enough wg or veggies, or protein. Wasn't assertive enough/deem it important enough to ask anyone to let me take the van to the nearest store or ask the place where we were staying for hard boiled protein, etc. Couldn't do it. Hated w&m'ing in front of others. Called my husband crying, and he (just wanting to support me and me be happy) was like, just quit this! So I did. And it felt good for about 10 minutes. And then all the old reasons why I needed a program like gs came back...Still didn't feel like I belonged anyway ... felt cut off from my HP and had lost that comfortable still small voice behind me telling me what to say next or do next...overate and underate to "make up" for it - told myself I was FINE because I hadn't gained weight ... but I felt crazier... So after six weeks off GS, I ate my last non-abstinent meal. I had more protein than what was allowed, fruits that weren't on it, smaller salad not weighed or measured, AND THE EMPTINESS in my soul sucked ... I thought, this is NOT "worth it". So I came back - I was graced with the willingness. Now I firmly believe, if I can't do it abstinently, it is NOT my HP's will for me to do it. (One woman left GS because she insisted on eating in-between meals so she could run more and run marathons. She gained 10 pounds the first month she left despite upping her running...)

Writer #3:

HEARTWARMING NMW: This is one that isn't so much about the food, but more about the kindness of strangers in a situation that wasn't so great. It happened about four years ago. I was traveling from Taipei to Ohio to see my family. My sister had told me that my father was going downhill and I should come back and see him before his mind was gone. At the time, my daughter was almost two and just this wee little curly haired kid. Well, we made it to the airport safely and were on the plane. I had "placed my bags in the overhead compartment" when within minutes the cries let out. My daughter started howling. I mean just really letting it all out. I had become that god-awful parent with the screaming kid that just doesn't shut up during the flight. I looked around with panic in my eyes as the passengers stared at me with that "Shut your kid up because we're not putting up with this for 13 hours" type of look in their eyes. When I couldn't get her to quiet down, my tears started to flow. Everything was coming out - my fear of what I was going to meet when I saw my dad, my frustration with a crying kid, and my life as it had been for the past few years. Everything! But, as my tears flowed a man stood up and asked the guy sitting next to me if he could switch seats. Of course the guy was more than happy to not have to sit next to a crying mother and child, so he obliged. Well, God has put saints on this earth and one sat next to me. This guy along with three of his friends are heroes to me and I know that my HP put them in my life on that flight. They were soybean farmers from Missouri (they totally looked like good ole boys in my stereotyping mind) and had just been in Taipei on business. During the flight they all took turns holding my daughter. This allowed me to eat my weighed and measured meals (two kinds of food -- on the advice of a sponsor -- that give one gas. Enough said) and avoid blood clots from going to my lungs. I spoke with them and even cried with them. One of the guys had lost his 16-year-old son in a car accident a few years back and it was still raw in his heart. These were real men. They were kind, giving, and incredible. I've tried to track them down to thank them, but I haven't had much luck. I was able to make it home abstinently with a couple of hours of rest and a mind that was not foggy because of the kindness of strangers. 

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Writer #4:

1. On a sunset boat cruise. Already eaten protein and open tupperware to discover that vegetable/salad is moldy. Miles and hours from shore. Pre cell phones. Eureka! Other passengers' meals are decorated with a steamed vegetable so I beg for lots and lots of decorations to fill my cup. 2. Mother's deathbed is within a few moonlit blocks of 'Grace's' restaurant where I order traditional Greysheet comfort food to take back to the hospital. 3. My 12-day-old son is in the ER. Ambulance to take us to NICU is late. We had to wait three hours until 1 am. I had called my sponsor on arriving at the ER and she said to eat dinner when I arrive home. So I did. 4. Last year when my son had a seizure and the doctor's office instructed me to call 911, I had the whole conversation with the 911 operator while eating the two hugest X fruits imaginable. I had thought I would be eating a leisurely Sunday breakfast at home and had no other fruit.